Senin, 07 Agustus 2006
friday was a bad day for me. actually, it was a bad night. i'm missing lorin like stinking crazy, so on top of anything that may disrupt my happy little world, i've been on the verge of tears for over a week now. so, friday night i thought i had plans, but they fell through. so i decided to go shopping and my mom wanted to go with me, so i was thrilled to have company. after we were done, she asked if i wanted to go to her house for dinner, to which i will forever answer with a resounding yes because the woman knows how to cook! on the way over to her house (we drove separately) my cell phone rang and it was the love of my life. i was so happy to hear from him! about 2 minutes into the conversation, his calling card ran out. i lost all control and was sobbing like a baby without its binky. i kept praying, "God, please let him call back! PLEASE!!!!" he didn't call. i pulled into my mom's driveway, we both got out of our cars and she opened the gate to let her dog (who is about the size of a german shepard) out to see me. he must not have recognized me because he came darting out growling and sunk his razor sharp teeth into my hand. already having an emotional breakdown, i crumpled to the ground as my mom kicked and screamed at preston (the aforementioned dog). we went into the house to clean the blood off my ravaged finger and put ice on it. as my mom was in the middle of praying over me, my cell rang again. rudely, i jumped up and answered it...it was lorin. at this point i was hysterical. i don't know that he understood a word i said. "pre..ston...bit..my...h...and...and...i...miss...you... so...much...." was about all i remember. after i calmed down and ate some homemade greek pizza, my mom and her boyfriend handed me a container of ginger snaps..one of my favorite cookies...that they had bought for me at one of my favorite stores, trader joe's. i was so excited because they were really good. at about 11:45pm, i headed home. i pulled into my driveway and figured i could handle carrying everything in one trip. i put the cookies in one of the bags and slowly made my way to the door. suddenly, my cookies were scattered all over my driveway. i don't know if i've ever in my life shown so much restraint as i did in that moment. i carefully put the items down in the house and went back out to clean up the mess. the entire time, i thanked God that the day was almost over, although i wanted to scream a profanity, instead. i went to bed and woke up to the most beautiful day i've seen in a while. tomorrow, i will pick up my squish and bring him back to our home. it'll be the first time i'll feel normal in the past 9 days.